


After The Crackers

by BakerStTardis (Sokashi)



Series: Hobbit Advent [22]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-23
Updated: 2013-12-23
Packaged: 2018-01-05 17:49:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1096777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sokashi/pseuds/BakerStTardis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hobbit Advent Day Twenty Two. Prompt presents.<br/>This one comes right after number eight in this series, Management of Kings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	After The Crackers

"It was Fili and Kili." Thorin growled as soon as the door closed behind them.

Bilbo snorted. "Of course it was Fili and Kili. Honestly, I'm surprised we didn't expect it." He frowned a little at himself, "Actually, I'm surprised you dwarves haven't blown up more things that this by now. You seem the type."

Thorin glared. "Dwarves do not ACCIDENTALLY blow things up. We're too well trained for that."

Bilbo gave the dwarf an amused, patient look. "Do you really think it was an accident?"

That made Thorin's face turn even darker and he started to rise, but Bilbo stopped him, pushing him back into his seat. "No. Not while Thranduil is still in the mountain."

"I'll need new heirs." Thorin muttered. "It'll have to be Dain. He's not of Durin's blood, but the line seems too full of complete idiots so maybe its for the best."

Bilbo laughed and sat beside his friend. "You'd miss them if they were gone." Thorin grumbled but didn't argue. "And Thranduil seemed to like it, explosion and all. Just think, he doesn't have a clue they weren't supposed to really explode."

Thorin stroked a hand down his beard, scattering the sparkling remains like confetti. "It was reckless."

"No, it was calculated." Bilbo pointed out. "Even I can tell it would take some work to figure out how to make them explode like that without running the risk of maiming or killing anyone." He paused thoughtfully then paled. "We weren't at risk, right? My party favors didn't just almost kill half the royalty in Middle Earth, did it?"

Now Thorin looked amused. "No, the worst it could've done was singe a few fingers. Maybe lose your eyebrows if you were close enough."

Bilbo breathed out a sigh of relief. "Well, then see? Everything is okay. No one really knows what happened and you can have a talk with the boys AFTER you've cooled off." Thorin's face darkened again and Bilbo patted his arm. "If it helps, think of all the worse things they could've done tonight." By the look on Thorin's face, the thought didn't help at all. Bilbo sighed and tried to think of something suitably distracting as he sat across from his friend. "Okay, here's the plan. We're going to spend ten minutes thinking up all possible punishments for the two of them. Then we're going to go back inside and pretend nothing happened. Agreed?"

Thorin looked up at him from under his brows. Bilbo couldn't quite decide if he looked amused or just broody. It was so hard to tell sometimes. "Agreed." The king growled. "So beheading?"

Bilbo grimaced dramatically. "That's a little gruesome. No dessert for a month."

The dwarf gave him a disgusted look. "They're not hobbit babes. If they're to learn a lesson its going to have to be something that can get through their thick skulls."

"I'm pretty sure beheading them won't teach them anything either." Bilbo countered. "What about making them clean the great hall after the party? Or do the dishes?"

Thorin looked at Bilbo, amused. "Is this truly how your brain works? What happened to my clever thief?"

Bilbo rolled his eyes but fought a smile because Thorin was distracted and that was the point. "He retired, thank you very much. He's just a hobbit again. Now come on. Lets hear another of yours."

 

Their absence from the party was barely noticed. Thranduil raised a brow at them but didn't comment. Fili and Kili had safely scuttled off to socialize with elves and men farther down the hall where Thorin couldn't follow without making a scene. Dwalin and Thorin exchanged a look, though, that meant nothing good for either of the boys. Bilbo just let it be. They'd been dealing with Fili and Kili's antics far longer than he could imagine. The party wound down without any more drama. Thranduil took his leave without insulting anyone and Thorin didn't growl and Bard looked...content, which was pretty much all they could ask for. All in all they went to bed that night with the weight of kingdoms and politics temporarily off their shoulders and just Yuleday to look forward to.

 

Bilbo woke to someone landing half of top of him and sputtered in surprise, flailing out of his blankets. His elbow connected with someone's chin and they both hissed in pain before Bilbo found himself frowning at Fili who pouted a little. "Hey! Kili's the one who squished you!"

Kili, who was still laying half on the hobbit wriggled and didn't look remotely guilty. Bilbo scowled. "What are either of you doing here? I was asleep!"

The comment earned him two heartbroken looks before they shared a commiserating one. "You're part of our family Yule." Fili said.

"And we always wake uncle this way on Yuleday." Kili added cheerfully.

"Although he usually manages not to punch either of us." Fili pouted a little more, rubbing his jaw.

Bilbo shoved at them both, hiding his pleasure at being so thoroughly included and his amusement at the thought of the two young dwarves pouncing on Thorin in the morning. "Yes, well I'm sure he at least expects it by now. I did not." He shoved again but Kili just kept laying there smiling smugly. "Are either of you going to move?"

"Not yet." Kili said and inched up until he peered right into Bilbo's face. "Happy Yuleday, Bilbo."

"Yes. Happy Yuleday." Fili echoed then they both hugged him tight, nevermind that he was still in his bedclothes, tangled in his blankets and half buried under them both. 

Bilbo smiled and hugged them back as best he could, even as it squished him even more. "You two are worse than hobbit babes." He said gruffly, but they just laughed and leapt up, tugging him out of bed.

"Come on, Bilbo." Kili said eagerly. "Breakfast is for immediate family and morning for the rest!"

Fili opened his closet and was tussling through Bilbo's clothes, ignoring Bilbo's squeak of displeasure at it. "Yes and if you don't hurry Dwalin will show up early and try to eat our best foods."

"I'll dress myself, thank you very much." Bilbo said, shoving them both towards the door. "Now out. Out. Out. Out. I'll be there in a few minutes."

They didn't leave his door. Bilbo could hear them laughing outside it as he dressed. He found himself smiling at the sound of it. Smiling and humming a bit with happiness. Every day he was struck by how much he'd missed over the years. Just...this. Annoying kids and being woken up too early for a holiday and laughter outside a door. He opened it and was immediately swept away by the two young dwarves. 

Thorin was waiting in the small family room where food was laid out and a warm fire was burning. He was dressed in his less formal clothes, looking more relaxed and casual than Bilbo might've ever seen him. The dwarf smiled at their entrance and moved to take his seat at the small table loaded. It was heavy covered in food enough to make a hobbit proud with the gold crackers Thorin had presented Bilbo with set precisely on the table. "Food first!" Kili said sliding into a chair and grabbing a plate. Thorin rolled his eyes but the smile didn't fade.

"It's best to just go along with them in this." Thorin shared with Bilbo, his voice low.

Bilbo took the seat to Thorin's left, across from Fili. The table was small and square and cozy and soon Bilbo was lost in passing plates and eating and laughing and talking. In smaller groups the dwarves weren't quite as messy and Fili and Kili were actually eating more than they were playing. Bilbo was laughing at Fili who was pulling caramel rather irritated from his mustache, when he looked over to find Thorin handing him the end of a cracker. Bilbo grinned and set the piece of crumb cake he was eating to the side. "So now I get to find out what kinds of things dwarves consider trinkets." He teased.

"Trinkets were yesterday." Thorin said and tossed the other two dwarves a look. "At least in theory they were."

Bilbo bit the inside of his cheek to keep from grinning at the guilty look the boys shared. "So what can I expect then?" He grasped his end of it but didn't pull yet.

"A...present." Thorin said thoughtfully. "Real presents are later, with all the family, but this- well...." He jostled the cracker held between them. "You'll have to see."

Amused, Bilbo gripped his end a little tighter. "All right. One. Two." They pulled and there was a little snap, fun and pleasant, not at all a like the explosions the night before. Bilbo got the empty end but Thorin offered him his end of the cracker, face surprisingly kind and gentle. Suddenly aware both Fili and Kili had stopped to watch, Bilbo blushed and tugged the curious bit of metal and cloth free. It was a braided bit of...string, for lack of a better word with a beautiful metal bead tipped in a green on the end. 

"It's...well, there's not a word for it except in khudzul." Thorin said his voice low and almost bashful. "but it's a symbol of your status."

Bilbo frowned a little. "Your friend? Advisor?" He asked wondering what he was supposed to do with it, but afraid to be rude enough to ask.

Kili snorted and Fili elbowed his brother, his face serious as he looked at the hobbit. "Family, Bilbo. We already told you." 

Bilbo blinked in surprise as Thorin took the braided strings to show him the end. "It can be tied into your hair to wear like our braids and everyone will know you're one us. Part of the line of Durin." Bilbo choked a little.

"No. Nononono." He wagged a finger at Thorin. "Don't you put me in your line of succession, Thorin Oakenshield. There'll be no stopping you the next time you want to kill them."

Fili and Kili laughed, but Thorin just quirked a smile. "You'll be family, Bilbo. If you accept. As close to us as if born to it. A brother." 

And Bilbo's scowl faded. How could he deny that? "I've never had brothers." He said a knot forming in his throat.

"They're the best." Kili offered excitedly and even Thorin nodded, eyes serious.

"They are." He agreed, eyes a little dark with memories.

Bilbo swallowed and tapped the bead. "All right. You can put it in." He said a little thickly.

Thorin inched closer to do as he said while Fili and Kili grinned. "It can be anything. " Fili said. "If that proves uncomfortable. It's nothing special, really. Just a bead. We thought a ring at first, but your gardening..." He shrugged.

"And you don't wear necklaces," Kili added, head cocked to the side as he watched.

Thorin gently tied it in and drew back a little, smiling smugly. "And if none of those are good enough, Dwalin would be proud to tattoo you something."

Bilbo flinched back, horrified, as the dwarves laughed, but he found himself smiling, too. He fingered the bead hanging along his chin and blinked a few times, not wanting to tear up in front of them. "This is fine." He said quickly and grinned a little harder when he met Thorin's pleased eyes. "It's...the best present you could give me. Thank you."

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry for anyone who saw my dumb notes at the end! It's fixed now!


End file.
